In Denial
by GallaudetLurker
Summary: Jade can't stand Robbie. That is obvious. But is there something deeper than that? RADE.


**A/N: Hello everyone! I, GallaudetLurker, is back! After a hiatus, I've returned with a new fanfic for y'all to enjoy. I must admit, I've lost inspiration to update _'Fateful Decisions'_ mainly because I don't know what to write next, and that I've been pretty busy in university since it began two weeks ago (although my workload had been lightened up a bit, so I figured I would be able to do a quick fanfic). I apologize for this, but I'm sure I will be able to update _'Fateful Decisions'_ and perhaps even _'In the Dressing Room'_ in the future if I get enough inspiration. I don't know how long it would take, but bear with me, k?**

**With all that said, read, enjoy, and review! :)**

**Oh yeah, one more thing: I don't own Victorious.**

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><p><strong>In Denial<strong>

She couldn't stand him. That was fairly obvious to those who were inside the 'clique of friends' that she hung out on a daily basis at Hollywood Arts. Not that she would call them 'friends', mind you, but you get the idea.

Who was the unfortunate boy that caused her displeasure every passing day?

The answer was simple. It was-

"Robbie! Hey Robbie!" Cat's annoyingly cheerful - and shrill - voice boomed throughout the hallway, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Here he was. The boy who caused her displeasure every passing day.

Robbie Shapiro.

The tall, lanky, afro-haired boy whose spectacles nearly took up half his face was walking down the hallway, that creepy puppet in his arms.

God. One should've thought that Robbie should've grown out of it after two years at Hollywood Arts. Carrying around an inanimate, wooden object in your arms and treating it as a real, breathing 'friend' was bound to do wonders for one's reputation in Hollywood Arts.

Note the heavy sarcasm.

The real world would tear him apart with such viciousness and brutality that it would make her blush in embarrassment and shame (and nothing in the world ever made her do that) if he continued to do that. She had wanted, even to the desperate point, him to become a 'normal' person, and it had nearly happened when the puppet was sucked into a Jet Blow machine and died.

That was before Vega, her oh-lovable rival, brought him back to life and once again trapped Robbie in his childish mentality that treated Rex as a real person instead of a heap of wood that Rex actually was.

She found her eyes narrow a bit, her jaw clench a bit, her mouth tighten in a thin line as if trying to constrain her sharp tongue from churning out insults that she usually peppered Robbie on a daily basis. Her stomach tensed up as well.

As Robbie exchanged chitchat with Cat, as her boyfriend of three years, Beck Oliver, leaned over to capture her lips with his, she mused inside her mind that she couldn't stand him. He was plainly the person what nobody would ever want to be. Period.

Unless they wanted to experience social death at Hollywood Arts and real life. Something that Robbie had already sunk past, and to a point that he was beyond redemption. Not only his habit to carry Rex around, but everything about Robbie highly irritated and greatly annoyed her. His stupid afro, his tacky clothing, the too-tight girly jeans he always wore, everything.

She despised Robbie Shapiro.

She also despised the fact she was lying about despising him. About everything that she had thought about Robbie, actually.

As she pulled back from Beck, smiling up at the long-haired boy who was standing in front of her, she thought about the real reason she despised - or supposedly despised - Robbie. The real reason behind her attitude toward the bespectacled ventriloquist boy standing a few feet away from her. The real reason that drove her to insult, demean, and mock him in every way possible every day.

It was not something that she could freely admit to anyone (not that she would be willing to do, of course), herself included. Indeed, it was something that she would willfully and joyfully carry with her to the grave, for it was something so scandalous that it would overturn the world at Hollywood Arts as she knew it.

The real reason why she treated Robbie the way she treated him, the real reason why she supposedly despised him was that...

She liked him.

No, not 'like' as in friend, but in 'like-like' as in a...crush. She really, _really_ liked him, in fact she had a _huge_ crush on him.

Yes, Jade West had a huge crush on Robbie Shapiro. In fact, she was pretty sure she _loved_ him.

She didn't know how or why it happened, or even why it happened in the first place. Indeed, anyone who drilled her about this would, in addition to being beaten to an inch of his/her life, not receive a definite answer. But it happened, the reality was that she liked someone that she should not even come near to like in the first place.

When she had narrowed her eyes, clenched her jaw, tightened her mouth, and tensed up her stomach, she was actually trying to calm her rapidly-beating heart, the growing butterflies in her stomach - is that the reason her stomach tensed up in the first place? - and trying to contain the blush that were threatening to spill into her cheeks, succeeding in doing so.

As she shifted her gaze from Beck to Robbie, still in conversation with Cat, she remembered that when she had realized of her growing feelings toward Robbie, it had disturbed and frightened her. So much that she doubled and even tripled her barrage of insults, put-downs, and mockery at him.

Of course, it was all in denial. She had been denying the feelings that were blossoming in her heart. And her insults slowly assumed another role: catching his attention, even if in a negative way. Whenever he responded to her insults - even if to sigh and look at her in a weary way - she felt thrilled and exhilarated, even if a small, if strange, feeling of guilt gnawed away at her.

That feeling of guilt became fairly common - despite her dark personality, she was still a human beings with feelings - as pangs began to sink into her heart. She felt sorta bad for Beck, but she couldn't help that her feelings for her boyfriend had waned and finally vanished at the same time her feelings toward Robbie grew. Their kisses, which had once sent jolts through her and caused her toes to curl up, now felt empty, and she didn't really spend as much time with him anymore. She considered breaking up with him on more than one occasion, but every time she was about to do that, Beck would do something sweet to her, such as take her out to a nice restaurant or something.

She was greatly thankful that she was an actress. Her cold, dark, and distant demeanor and personality served as a perfect shield for the warm feelings that were churning in her heart, stomach, and mind. Still, that didn't stop the pangs of guilt.

Nobody suspected a thing, though, and she preferred it to stay that way.

Intertwining her fingers with Beck's - and imagining them to be Robbie's in her mind - Jade spared a glance at Robbie as she began to walk away from her locker with her boyfriend.

"Hey dork." She sneered in a demeaning tone as she passed him by.

Midst her beating heart and the feeling of adrenaline coursing through her as she felt Robbie's gaze on her, Jade wondered what she was going to do about all this, about her feelings for the ventriloquist.

Perhaps she could break up with Beck, and confess her feelings to Robbie?

She didn't know.

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><p><strong>AN: Hope you liked this story. Reviews and constructive criticisms, although not required, are greatly appreciated. Flames, however, are not.**


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